The Marine ....

The love that i had for him was so deadly , I wasted two years of my life hooked on some who didn't treat me well at all. Taking you back to when we meant he was a fresh young boy from Manhattan . He was homeless , he was struggling , he needed some one to left him off his feet . I was that some i was his hope and his support . The hatred grew for his family hatred i didn't even know he had .It build up for years and i was blind sided to help him . Anyway the 1 st year went by so fast and it was so beautiful i thought i finally meant my match . He was sweet , he was trust worthy at first , everything seem great . It wasn't until we got to the end were we was about to make two years he started to act different maybe it was the stress of going to paris island maybe it was the stress of him being homeless. I couldn't tell you ,what i could tell you was that i was still there and the love was still there . Once he left for paris island it felt like three months of hell . Aching and crying for him everyday . It got better ad better when i got letters from him . and when i got that phone call from him my world felt bright again . When February came he was graduating i planed last minute because his family failed him they weren't coming . I spent hundreds of dollars to travel by train to see him and when i got there i was nervous i was happy and truly honored to be there but when it was all over i couldn't find him . I remembering thinking wheres my marine ? He didn't care to see me . Ha i traveled 17 hours by train no sleep and 15 hours back to just see him for 10 minutes . He didn't care to come with me he didn't want to waste the money he spent to travel back home . If that wasn't s slapp in the face i don't know what was . Fast forwarding to after that day he was different  he had a hard shell around him . I knew he went through hell there but he brought it back with him he was only gonna be here for a week or two , and all we did was fight . The women you claim to love you fight with , even though you haven't seen her in month's . I swear he was a really blinded guy., when he left i didn't care to see him leave i was to angry with him .We had communication nut once,again he wasn't treating me how i was suppose to be treated . Fast forwarding again We moved in the fights got louder , the emotional pain got stronger . I kept saying at least he didn't hit me until he  did . The first time was last 2017 of October we was fighting about something petty and i turned my back and he pulled my hair and punch me in the back . I cried and he never wanted to touch e again i cried and begged him because I Loved him i didn't want to leave him yet i felt some terrible in my heart after that day . The second time was November 10, 2017 . We was on the highway he just git a brand new car we was running late for the marine corps ball . It happen in queens new York and while driving i was getting ready he wanted to pay attention he wanted me to navigate but i wasn't doing my bets which made him angry very angry and he pulled over and we both started yelling him loud me louder and for a spilt second he was silent and his one hand was wrapped around my throat gripping it tight . It was a outta body experience and i froze . I don't know who i was when this all happened we went to the dance like nothing happened he blew steam off with his fellow marines and he was all better . i called my mother and told her i didn't realize what i told her but he said i can't go back home with him . I called my dad and he was furious i texted my sister told her. Everyone and anyone i texted i just wanted some one to listen my aunt pam did she called the cops and came to the ball to find me . it felt like a nightmare with in a nightmare . It was freezing cold and my dress was really long my heels was super high . I just remember being circle by cops asking me what happen i told them and begged them like a fucking idiot not to arrest him . Even when he almost killed me i still loved him. Moths later i moved out he was stilled in loved but the love was gone the boy i once fell for i feared the man he became the times he would try so hard i would give him a chance god threw me a sign car accidents , anger fits . He would never change . We wasn't meant to be we never was .It still haunts me to this day , i can look at a marine dress blues with out shaking in fear and leaking of tears . November 10 th is your birthday , November 10th is my stress day .....